|Posted by Justin Tucker on December 23, 2015 at 4:20 PM|
Let me begin by expressing my sincerest appreciation to those individuals who understand and live by the phrase, “Less is more.” These are generally the guys who may not necessarily own the room, but are capable of holding their own as they remain true to their style preferences. To be completely honest, these guys should be given a lot more recognition than what they probably receive. Let’s think about it for a moment – these guys practically invented “minimalism,” the movement which currently has every Kanye fan dressing as though they’ve been without shelter for months (but can somehow afford a pair of shoes worth 2-month’s rent in Manhattan). How about the color choices? It goes without saying that these simple guys have invested a lot of time, energy and money filling their closets with neutrals such as the usual black, white, navy and grey. They’ve seemingly mastered the art of putting together effortless ensembles on a daily basis by utilizing these staples. I feel as though the world could use many more of this type of guy. He knows and is confident in who he is and what he brings to the table, and doesn’t feel the need to go the extra mile to show anyone up.
Now, if you take a look on the other end of the spectrum, you will more than likely find what I like to call “fashion junkies.” These are the guys who are committed to filling their wardrobes with the most in-your-face designer pieces. They will go to great lengths in order to ensure that they look like they spent a fortune on their clothes, all the way down to the brand logo belt buckle. Even if they can’t really afford to spend an entire paycheck on a scarf, the fast-fashion market has become the place for persons with smaller budgets to get in on the most stylish contest.
So what is it about these fashion enthusiasts that seem to make our skin crawl? Might I add that not all of them take things to the extreme when it comes to displaying their most prized wearable possessions. But when it comes to those who don’t understand that fine line between doing just enough and doing entirely too much, these are a few pet peeves that I often find myself scratching my head at the sight of:
- The Label Whore – Let me be clear in saying that I am not at all jealous of the fact that you can afford a Gucci belt or a pair of odd-looking shoes from the newest Yeezy or Rick Owens line. What makes me a little uncomfortable, however, is your decision to also throw on those True Religion jeans with a Balmain studded biker jacket. Oh, and who can miss the polo jockey player on your shirt, or the Lacoste alligator on your baseball cap. Hopefully you are beginning to see my point, because quite frankly, I’m not even sure if you can even properly pronounce all of the labels currently on your back (that’s jhee-von-shee, not gi-vaun-chy).
- "Bedazzled Bill" – How about you try explaining to me what all those extra symbols on your jeans represent. Having a little trouble, are we? Don’t worry; I’m sure I can figure it out on my own. I suppose the eagle has something to do with freedom, right? Better yet, why don’t you talk what all those studs on your cap and bag do for your confidence levels? Need I say anymore? The only thing that having embellishments all over your clothes will get you is a one-way ticket back to grade school. Then you’d probably be sent home and ordered to change, as you would prove to be a distraction to your classmates. Long story short: prints are okay, bedazzled garments are catastrophic.
- The Circus Has Gone Awry – It’s one thing to want to show off how much money you’ve spent on your clothes, and it’s another to want to have extra sparkles and studs, but one thing I absolutely cannot stand for is an onslaught of atrocious prints in one look. Sure, there’s nothing wrong with stepping out of your shell with a glen plaid (or even houndstooth) suit – actually, I wouldn’t mind investing in one myself. But things easily got out of hand when you decided that a checked shirt and striped tie would bring it home. Don’t flatter yourself too much, because I’m saddened to say that you are not even the worst offender. That’s right; unfortunately you were outdone by the courageously foolish chap in the head-to-toe multi-colored floral get-up. Excuse me while my eyes recover.
Let us now return to our pals, those guys with the simplistic values and conservative wardrobes. Let us take a moment to appreciate them some more, for they keep us from pulling all of our hair out one strand at a time.
Categories: Style: Who Would've Thought It